The position of an EDH (Executive Director of the Household) is very different than the position of Just a Housewife.
Just a Housewife stays at home because she doesn’t feel she is qualified to do any other career.
An Executive Director of the Household stays home because she (or sometimes he) knows she is the best person for the job, and it is an honorable position.
Just a Housewife doesn’t have to wake at an early hour, unless she has young children who will wake her, or children she needs to help get to school (or a demanding husband who expects her to wait on him) and she is basically feels she is their maid or servant. A very lowly position. She has nothing for herself, her life is all about them.
The Executive Director of the Household rises early, because she starts the day with a quick prayer covering her loved ones before they start their day. A very important action. She makes sure things run smoothly for the Dragon Slayer, as he gets ready to leave for his day, tackling the giants she would not want to face herself.
Do you see where I am going with this?
How we choose to perceive our position in life, makes all the difference. To the outside world, Just a Housewife and an EDH might be the same thing, but it really isn’t. It’s all in our attitude.
Whether you are a formally educated woman or a woman who did not get that opportunity, the enemy whispers lies telling you either, you aren’t using your education or that you aren’t smart enough to do anything else. He wants you to feel inadequate. He wants you to feel as though your position isn’t important and that life goes on without you, because you have to take care of the kids, or you have to take care of your husband and the house.
Let me tell you a secret… you don’t have to. You choose. Don’t believe me?
Our mind is one of the most powerful things about us, and that is why the enemy gets in our head because that is where he could make us weak if we let him. If we put our mind to it, anything is possible.
I have heard countless stories of achievement, that stemmed from a strong determination. We may have to work harder, or sacrifice, or suffer loss, but we DO have a choice.
Thinking that you have to do whatever you are doing, is putting yourself in a victim role.
Think about it. If you are a single mom and you think you have no choice but to work, you actually DO have a choice. You can choose not to work, and use your victim card and all your circumstances to say you can’t hold a job, or you can’t afford childcare and have to stay home with your child, and then you get help from others or government assistance. Don’t like that lifestyle? Well then, you choose to work. You choose to have a job rather than a handout. Just as a housewife chooses not to work outside the home. Some may think they have no choice, but there is always a choice even if it might cause hardship or sacrifice – you choose.
For myself, I choose to be an EDH. I am a writer, a rancher, and I take care of my household. Sometimes, my household has had guests who have stayed for a much-needed break. Sometimes, my household consisted of my adult children and grandchildren who relocated and needed to get their footing before getting their own place. Sometimes, my household is a place for my mother-in-law as she recuperates from a sickness or injury. For the most part, my household consists of my Dragon Slayer and our animals.
But I do not choose to be a housewife. I do not choose to have my purpose be that of the doormat on my porch. Just existing, welcoming others, yet getting walked on.
I have a say in my life, and I make my choices. I choose to be the Executive Director of the Household because I am good at it. And because I care about my household and those who enter.
I go to bed early and rise early. I plan our meals, I read labels making sure my loved ones have the best ingredients going inside their body, I make up recipes that will keep food interesting, I keep my laundry up each day so that I don’t have mounds of clothes waiting to be folded… I truly take my position seriously. But I could get inside myself and focus on the enemy’s lies. I could think of myself as a maid, here to serve everyone else while my own needs or desires are never met. Who cares for me? Who tries to make my life any easier?
Honestly? My Dragon Slayer. We are 100/100 in caring for the other. Sure, I may be the one whose tasks keep going even after he leaves the office, but God has created me to be able to handle that.
If I am still putting away laundry while the Dragon Slayer relaxes in front of the television, I am thankful that I didn’t have to pay the bills, or deal with a difficult client, or go to a board meeting, or to stress about debt.
My Dragon Slayer is the Dragon Slayer for a reason – he is good at it, and he cares about the EDH. Had God created me to slay dragons, or our roles were reversed or if we both had the same role, God would equip us accordingly.
I have slayed dragons before, doing everything on my own AND ran my household at the same time. But in this season, DS and EDH have chosen what works best for us. And the reason it works so well, is that we are grateful.
Sure, I am grateful he slays dragons and I don’t have to, and he is grateful that I execute all household decisions, making our home a safe haven, but I am also grateful that I get to do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, plan meals, open our home to those who need to stay, taking care of our animals…and so much more. I don’t have to – I get to.
The Dragon Slayer is grateful that he gets to go to the office and be a provider. That he gets to keep stress from the household. That he gets to help out our family, our church and our community.
He could easily choose not to. He could do things half-heartedly, he could ask me to take some of his load, and he could totally abandon the challenges he faces.
But God made us stewards of what He has given. We don’t own our house – God does. We don’t own our business – God does. We don’t own each other – God does. And what a privilege to be a part of it all! God entrusted us with these things. With each other.
Seasons change, and we may not always have the same roles or the same load, but whatever opportunities are before us, we want to be the best we can be. For God, for each other, and for ourselves.
If we both focus on God first, and then each other, then that takes care of the ‘ourselves’ part. If I give 100% to my husband and my tasks, and he gives 100% to me and his tasks, then we are both fulfilled. Our needs are met.
As the Executive Director of the Household, some days are harder than others, sometimes I need the same understanding that the Dragon Slayer needs when he is extra tired or stressed. One of the tasks DS has, is to make sure his EDH is okay and to step in when needed. The same is true of the EDH to make sure the DS is okay.
I may not be able to write him a big check, or take care of a client, but I am able to help him decompress, to encourage him, to let him know I have taken care of everything on my end, so he doesn’t have to. I can pray for him. I can pray with him.
And he can do the same for me. If something with our household is beyond my normal care or something major is needed, we both need to make a decision about, he can step in. Or he can even offer to pick up some slack if I have taken on more than normal.
Even if his role is slaying dragons outside our home, and mine is organizing our home, our responsibilities go together. We are a team. It isn’t about who does more, or who is more important. It is about us both fulfilling our purpose under the heavens, in which we were afforded as God sees fit. And we are thankful for His purpose for our lives.
If you think of yourself as just a housewife, please give yourself a new title. Please take your role with confidence, with gratitude, and do it better than you thought you could. And maybe let your husband know that you see what he does when he leaves the house. He is a Dragon Slayer. Make sure he is suited in his armor and is covered in prayer by his warrior wife.
